I have a complaint. You stated that the paper clip could be ANY material, while it needs to be, in fact, a material that is able to clip paper, or it is not a paper clip. Using it as a jump rope can't work because rope can't clip paper. If you do use an abstract material, it should be able to clip paper in some way. And a PE teacher is dumber than a random street guy and the average 10 year old, but possibly dumber than vegetable in the head. Therefore the PE teacher should be 0 uses.
Schafdawg
Challenge accepted!